


Breaking the Bargain

by WordsAndWishes



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-ACOWAR, a little fluff, feysand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 05:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsAndWishes/pseuds/WordsAndWishes
Summary: Several years have passed since the war, and the Night Court is thriving. But even on such a beautiful day, Feyre has something heavy weighing on her heart.





	Breaking the Bargain

The morning was bright and sunny, and children could be heard playing in the streets as songbirds chirped in trees far above. The scent of lilacs wafted in through the open windows of the town house, making the morning completely perfect. I was thankful for it every day, glad that there was peace in Prythian once more. Though years had passed since the war, I had never forgotten the cries of Velaris’s people as they took in a bloody, brutal world forced upon them.

The door closed with a creak behind me as I stepped from the bedroom into the pine-floored hallway, I let out a long sigh. My fae hearing and nose let me know that Rhysand was down in the study, working on paperwork. Against my protests that he rouse me when he awoke, my mate had obviously let me sleep in again. 

I suppose I should consider it a blessing I was capable of sleeping late in the first place. In the years after the war, nightmares being torn from my friends, of Rhys being torn from me, of losing my sisters had tormented me. The worst of them made it nearly impossible to sleep after I woke up, Rhys comforting me as I writhed around with tear-stained cheeks. 

As much I wanted to simply enjoy the beautiful day and go on with my usual responsibilities, a much heavier weight rested itself on my shoulders. The thought of it started the growing of a pit of black, poisonous dread in my stomach, but I had put this off long enough. Today would be the day, I had vowed to myself. Making my way down the steps to the study, I cracked the door open.

“Good morning.” I said softly, the corner of my mouth perking up as Rhys looked up from his position at the desk, surrounded by a pile of paperwork.

Rhys raised an eyebrow. “What – no ‘hello, prick’ today? Are you feeling alright?”

Letting out a light laugh, I sat down on the loveseat in the corner of the study. “Are you busy?”

“You know I can always make time for you.” He responded, a smile in his voice.

I motioned for him to come sit beside me. “I know this is odd timing, but I have to talk to you now, before I lose my nerve again.” I said honestly.

Worry lined his face, and he stood up, crossing the room to sit next to me. “Is it the baby?” 

I shook my head as he sat down. “No, it’s nothing like that. Our baby is perfectly healthy.”

“Rhys – do you remember that bargain we made on the balcony, a hundred years ago?” I knew he did. That night was our first night at home, safe, the first night we had finally been able to begin breathing easily.

My mate’s brows creased. “Of course, darling.” He looked down at the hand that covered that tattoo - signifying that when we went, we would go together - and took it in his own, giving it a light squeeze.

“I’ve been thinking about that night a lot lately. More specifically, the bargain. And…and with our child coming in a few months…” I paused, placing my free hand on my growing stomach. I couldn’t bring myself to quite meet Rhysand’s eyes, instead focusing on the bridge of his nose, the tilt of his chin.

“If something were to ever happen to one of us in these next years…I don’t want our child to be alone. I don’t want them to have to face the responsibility of being High Lord or High Lady so young, or for the throne to go to Kier. Most of all, I don’t want them to grow up orphaned.” I paused, and Rhys’s breath hitched. I knew he was seeing the heads of his mother and sister, the limp body of his father.

“I don’t know how effective of a parent or a leader I would be without you…but…the bargain we made that night – it was selfish of us. Both you and me. We needed it at the time to comfort us both, and it wasn’t a bad thing, but I think….” I paused, taking a deep breath and sent up a silent prayer my words wouldn’t hurt him. “I think it’s time we release each other from that promise.”

Rhys went very, very still, and his grip on my hand loosened. “Rhys?” I asked softly, and when he didn’t respond I finally dared glance into his eyes. They were focused on somewhere far off, and for once I couldn’t read their emotion. Sending a mental hand to brush down his shield, I whispered his name down the bond. _Rhys._ A question, a request, a plea. _Are you alright? Let me in. Please, please don’t misunderstand me. I love you more than anything else in this life, and that hasn’t changed._

His shield reacted to my hand, rippling and moving a bit but not quite letting me in. I tilted my eyes downward, back to my stomach. Moments that felt like hours passed until Rhys spoke. “I understand, Feyre. I understand why you want to do this. I don’t want our child to grow up alone either.” He tilted my chin up to meet his eyes, brimming with emotion and lined with glistening tears. “I don’t know if I could ever…” He let out a shuddering breath, tears rolling down his face. I raised my hand to his cheek, brushing them away softly. 

“I don’t know if I could ever be right without you again, Feyre. Losing you is something I might never recover from. But if our child is here…we will have to be strong. If this is what is best for our child, you know I will do it. And if I am the first to go, I’ll wait for you for an eternity on the other side.” He closed his eyes for a moment then looked down at the midnight-blue lace covering my arm. “I release you from your bargain, Feyre.”

I watched as the tattoo slowly disappeared, erasing first at my elbow and slowly working its way down to the tips of my fingers. My arm seemed stark and bare now, especially compared to the ornate designs remaining on my other. It was as if it had never been there in the first place.  
“I release you from your bargain, Rhysand.” My voice remained steady as the cuff around his arm disappeared the same way mine had. Once it was gone, all we had to fill the space was silence. 

Standing up, I moved closer to Rhys, sitting myself in his lap and wrapping my arms around him. He rested his head against mine, and we sat that way for a long time, holding each other as if the world was falling apart. I don’t know how much time had passed when I broke the silence.  
“I want you to know, Rhys, this doesn’t mean I love you any less. Every piece of my heart still belongs to you, and one day, far, far in the future when our family has grown up – I would go with you then. There is -”

My mate cut me off with a gentle kiss. “I know, Feyre. I love you today as much as I always have, more than anyone has ever loved anything. And in a long, long time, perhaps we still can go together. But if not - until that day – we’ll be together.” 

Tears were rolling down our cheeks, because we both knew that no matter how much time passed it would never be enough.

Minutes ticked by before he moved, looking me in the eye again before whispering, “Whatever are we going to bargain on for matching tattoos now, Feyre darling?”

A smile quirked on the edge of my lips. “We’ll find something. What other wicked creatures live here that I don’t know about?” 

_We would do this. For our court, for our child, for our futures._

_We would be alright._


End file.
